Pop Over (Lent #7)

So I had the best day yesterday! I was able to get out of the house for something other than a doctors appointment, and finally did Christmas returns!  I now have a working shower/bathtub/waterproof speaker at my disposal that actually links to my bluetooth and can play musk now! The other wouldn’t pair.  And I got it in a cool new color, not that there was anything wrong with the other color.  This is one of the bests gifts my brother has given me.  He really went out on Christmas for me, which means more than anybody will ever know.

Then I went to return a purse, and it was a charming (in the name of the store, lol) store, where they have lots of accessories, jewelry, purses, etc.  I need some statement pieces, so that is what I was going to get.  I went through and exchanged my purse for this amazing turquoise cuff lined with bling on the outside of it, and a turquoise inspired statement necklace.  I have the fashion down, thank you Winnie & Kat (winnieandkat.com/michelle).  I just don’t have the accessories part down yet.  Working on it.  So after I made the exchange, my mom runs up and points out this purse that I do see on my own, it was totally visible once you left the check out line.  It was GORGEOUS! It again was turquoise (my color for the day apparently!) And the leather was super supple, and the bag was the right size, meaning big, lol.  It had a sip top, which is wonderful, the right pockets on the inside, it was perfect.  So I went back in line and returned the items I just had bought for this bag!  LOL The check out clerk could barely blame me, she said everybody who worked there went nuts for that bad when it came out.

The Very Sexi Maxi that I wore today from the Winnie & Kat Zuma Sunset collection, it matched the turquoise in the dress and looked great. I’m loving my new purse that I paid $39 for – the cheapest purse I have bought in recent years – mostly going for designer brands.  This one though is going to get used and tossed, and I won’t be sad about it, cause that’s it’s purpose.  Its great because since my friends know I only buy expensive brands, they think this is expensive too.  It does look expensive too.  At least now, when its new.

I had  a delivery to make of a top my Auntie ordered at the end of November, and she was supposed to pick it up, but her husband just passed and is dealing with it in her own way and is keeping really busy.  So she hasn’t been by, and I don’t blame her, I just feel bad that she paid so much money for this top and hasn’t been able to wear it, and its now out of season – thought she does wear all black all the time, so its not too bad.  So I popped over to her house with my mom (I have to get a ride everywhere I go, and my mom wanted to see her and ask some questions) to drop the package off.  We stayed and had a glass of bubbly, and she was making her world famous pop overs.  OMG – SO good!! She made a quadruple batch.  Her daughter and her two friends were coming home so with all of us she thought with a quad batch she’d have some left overs because they are so good as part of a sandwich the next day.  Not a piece left!  I just love my auntie so much, I think I pushed myself a little too much yesterday I am so tired today, though I had to go to the apple store to get one to one training, because I was having some problems with my computer.  After 15 minutes out, I was so tired I went white.  And not all my problems are fixed – I still have some songs showing up twice on my phone.  I think I need to go back.


African Proverb (Lent #6)

African Proverb


I was on my weekly webinar for Winnie & Kat today and the founder who leads these calls, who inspires us, and guides us every week, left us with this at the end of our webinar today.  Once you have found peace within, then nothing else can harm you.  You can be there, only to be knocked on your ass the next day by some news that, oh you don’t qualify for the insurance we signed you up for! That was pretty tough to hear.  Good thing I’m working on it :) There is a lawyer for everything! LOL Even sick, I have been able to find peace, find forgiveness in my heart for some very bad people who have done very bad things, I forgive them, doesn’t mean I have to like them I don’t think, but I have found peace, and hopefully when I get through these months that have been so rough, I’ll be back and find it again.  I need to get in a better habit of meditation.  I knew I needed to get in a better habit of blogging again, but maybe I should have made it meditation?

Your Medical Information (Lent #5)

I just got a bill in the mail, along with a CD that I can’t open because I don’t have the password yet – it comes in another envelope.  One I haven’t gotten yet.

I requested my medical records from UCLA, only select records, because my Templeton doctors needed to take a look at them, I didn’t think it’d be free, but I didn’t think it would cost me $34 to see one visit’s worth of medical records.  I thought $5 would be fair?  But I honestly deep down don’t feel like I shouldn’t be paying at all to access MY records.  Its inherently MY information.  Its kept there for my privacy protection, which I understand and appreciate, but its a huge money making scheme! to charge me so much to get my hands on my information!  And I still can’t access it because I don’t have the envelope with the password to open the password protected CD!  I thought the CD would be the big charge, but its only $1.50.  To pick up a second or third copy of your MRI, its only $15.  And if you lie and say its for your doctors office because they lost it, they will more than likely send you one for free.  (Insider information, though I don’t think since this is Lent, that God would like me to spill the beans on that one!)

Anyways, I’m just mad.  Who decides who’s information is who’s in the end?  Isn’t that the ultimate question?  With the spying on cell phones, and Snowden?

Light (Lent #4)

I’ve been reading these books with a bunch of amazing quotes in them, thought I’d share one.  I used my new computer skills to show off!!


So not that you can’t think for yourself or anything, but I like this because its reassuring to know that darkness can’t prevail, that no matter now bad things can get, or how depressed you think you are, there is always a way for light to get in.

Malibu Retreat (Lent #3)



So I had to start working because of my new insurance – its all super complicated, but now I think it was illegal, and I have an atty working on all of it as we speak, but bottom line is that I some how ended up working for a great company called Winnie & Kat, they sell beautiful and super soft women’s clothing, and empower women at the same time by allowing them to earn free clothes by hosting parties.  Not many people can say I got this awesome top for free because I got a bunch of friends together.  I think its pretty cool.  Anyways, this is the weekend of the first retreat at an awesome Malibu Mansion, but I can’t go because I’ve been really sick.  Not that I need to stay in Malibu, but getting to meet the other stylists would have been fun, and getting the training that they are getting would have been awesome too.

Because I have been sick though, I haven’t really been able to work with Winnie & Kat.  Its a great line, and great people, just haven’t been healthy enough to put shows together.  I did not make very much money from the winter line, but I saved every single penny I could to order the spring line, which was very reasonably priced, and hopefully I will be well enough to do things with this line because it is extraordinary.  All I have been able to do is dress well for the doctors offices.  LOL  I’m sure in some sort of way my doctor have appreciated it?  Who knows.

I’ve been faced with “What I really want to do when I grow up” and with past jobs tonight, and I’m just not sure I have made the right choices.  My mom has to go work for the orthopedist I worked for for like ever, but in a horse capacity, helping her scout a new trainer.  And my mom has a severe hip injury.  She is only helping her because I asked the doctor to read her MRI because Kaiser has just completely dropped the ball and we really need to hear it in real terms that we’ve been hearing for years.  So she can hardly walk and is expected to walk around tomorrow for hours, and can’t take a pain pill now or it will give her a pill hangover.

For me working for this person, I thought was great.  I had little supervision, and was able to do things on my time, and was given plenty of training when I needed it.  The bad part about that is that she didn’t realize how much of the job I was actually doing and how little of the job my “superior” was doing, and how much I was covering for her.  I got a “raise” after two and a half years, but I never really got it.  I was supposed to get health insurance too, but never got it.  I was so generous in my working with the doctor and her family, I bought presents for all her kids for birthday and christmas, for her I orchestrated a huge lunch of mini cupcakes I hand picked to be delivered to the office, and I had one of the vendors sponsor a lunch for us, which was a big deal because we never ate lunch.  I did this, and I’m sure she thinks that it was my co-workers idea as well, because she split the cost of the costly cupcakes with me.  I also bought “just because I’m grateful to have a job” gifts” when I would see something that the family would like.  I never got so much as a thank you, after I had been asked to give up holiday dinners at Maestros, Valentines Day, and other nice things to take care of her family.  My birthday passed twice, and I never got so much as a “Happy Birthday” even when I worked on my birthday, and I got the standard Christmas bonus, late one year, and I had to stop working for health reasons three weeks before Christmas, the next, and didn’t get my Christmas bonus that year.  Cold.  After the failed raise and the failed health care promise, she failed on my bonus after two and a half years?  So not cool.

When I go back to work, my mom says I should go back to work for someone small like her (NOT HER!) but I would ideally like to go back to work for my all time favorite employer at a wealth management firm.  Now they were nice to me.  The CEO would treat me so nice, he was going to buy me my first suit so I could go on a big meeting with them, he paid for me and my roommate’s boxing bootcamp (yes I used to box!), he paid for my therapy (I was raped after I started working for him) and he paid for Spectrum Club, and several meals, some with his family.   I loved that job.

It was me and a bunch of me, then kept trying to get me to cry, lol, but they could not!! Suckas! After restaurant work – that changes you!! lol  They were going to make me a Junior CFO after I graduated but it was a bad market.  I waited it out, and took some temp jobs that turned into permanent jobs like with the doctor, and then I got his call, my dream job call, and it was just the wrong time.  I got talked out of the job my my ex fiancé, because he didn’t believe my heart was fully in finance because I never talked about it.  But what he really didn’t want was me away from home and in Santa Monica 5 days a week, and making my own money.  Less Reliant on him, and more independent.  But we broke up shortly after that, and my health just totally gave.  He asked too much of me, and constantly pushed me when I needed to rest.  He also gave me a fucking disease!  LOL Takes a toll on the body.  Who knew I’d still be paying.  But I plan to call them when I get better and see if they even want me working there again, and go from there.  School is just so hard on me, I’d have to be healthy for a really long time before I tried that again.

Oil Pulling (Lent #2)

So I’ve been very interested in things, foods, whatever, that will help my health without taking any pills.  I just read this article, and with all the information in it regarding pain, detoxification and allergies, I thought this is something I might want to try.  It also helps with hormone imbalances, which I’m dealing with on a grand scale right now with the cortisol.  Though I don’t thick this will help with that.  Other small things it will help with are sensitive teeth, whitening, sleep issues (which have been really good for 3 nights now!! Woo!!) and with TMJ, but that does’t bother me so much.

I am talking about Oil Pulling.  It where one takes about a teaspoon of unrefined coconut oil, cold pressed organic sesame oil, or sunflower oil and gargle with it for 20 minutes, no more, no less.  If you cannot do 20 minutes which I have been assured flies right on by, then do two ten minute sessions.  And you can spit out anything if you need to.   And organic is best since you are trying to detox!!

For the real story here is the link….http://www.fashionlush.com/wtf-is-oil-pulling-why-im-hooked/

But I’m going to try this.  It may have reversed a cavity! Can’t be too careful with the dentist!! lol

Lent (#1)

Normally, I like to give something up for Lent.  The hardest thing I ever gave up was sugar.  I have the biggest sweet tooth!  So it was incredibly hard to go 40 days without anything sweet, and watching those around me eat sweets.  I think the hardest part was imagining what the first thing I would east would be, or just thinking of sweets that I loved, cause then I had a craving I couldn’t fill.  I wanted to give that up again this year, but I am trying so hard to gain weight, that pulling any sort of food wouldn’t be a good idea.

I have lost 15 pounds the last few weeks, I think it is because of a hormonal imbalance, with my cortisol levels, but I”m not sure.  All signs point towards that being the root of the problem.  And gaining weight is so hard.  I’ve been on both sides, but trying to gain healthy weight is harder I think than trying to lose weight.

Anyways, so I was thinking, what I could do for Lent.  And I have been terrible about writing here in my blog that I started a few years ago, so I thought I would try for 40 blogs in 40 days.  I haven’t been doing them because I don’t like talking about myself when I don’t feel good, its been a little depressing, etc, and I think I just need to get over that.  Give up my time which is something I haven’t wanted to do in the past because writing these things, “takes too long” sometimes, and I avoid it.  But do I have anything better to do?  No, lol.  But this is what I’m giving up, time, and dealing with mild depression for Lent.  Jesus did so much for us, and this is the least I can do.  Really.  I also think this is just something I picked up in HS that I felt like I needed to do for my faith.  I’m not Catholic, lol, I’m Episcopalian.  I don’t think we give stuff up for lent.  At least that is not how I was raised.  Not how my church did things.

I also do need to keep my friends better informed – which is why I did this to begin with.


Everyone knows the old adage:

Pain is your friend because it lets you know that you’re still alive.

I have mixed feelings about that.  Number one, pain sucks.  Its debilitating.  Chronic pain really limits your lifestyle.  I can’t do many of the things I like to do, or basic things like drive a car because of the nasty pain killers I’m on.  The night before Thanksgiving was the first time I was able to see my friends all year.  The crazy thing was, they added two new people to the crew that I didn’t even know, or know about.  Talk about replacement! I’m OG in that crew!  lol

But pain also has another side.  Without it I also wouldn’t have been able to go to the party.  Lately I have been so over pain.  I’m trying to live a normal life and leave pain behind where it belongs.  I’m exercising now, doing yoga, going on walks, using the big ball to do workouts with.  Those were things that were first things on my “No Fly List” when I used to be in pain.  It had pushed me this time to be more of who I used to be before instead of who I used to be a few weeks ago, a year ago.

Yes, I wake up in agonizing pain, probably on a pain scale of 10/10 every day and there are those days when it bumps up to an 11 and I actually need help getting out of bed.  But I just keep telling myself to “play through the pain” because its only temporary.  I do not want it to control my life any more.

My Crazy Dream

So I forewarn you this might not be that crazy, but I laughed so hard it woke me up!  A while back now I had a reunion lunch with my old formative friends.  We’d go to horse shows together (NOT as glamorous as that sounds!) vacations together (OK thats about right) and just about every weekend we’d have a sleep over at on of our houses – Fri and Sat.

So I dreamt that we had another reunion in a vacation spot and we’d all do crazy jumps into the water – even me. And then we had some drinks in the evening.  Nothing crazy three.  We got back him to my friends home how has a big sister we’re all very close with and start water wrestling?  Ix that even a real thing> we kept on calling it a draw and came out before we hurt one another.  And one of out friends asked if the apples were organic.  She said “Yes, except for the crazy amount of hormones i n those”  I don’t know why I think that last part is hilarious!

Could just be the middle of the night. lol